💞 Poly/ENM Relationship Toolkit

1. Core Values & Relationship Mapping

Compare your values and visualize your relationship dynamics.

• Brené Brown’s Values List
• Relationship Bill of Rights
• Non-Escalator Relationship Form
• Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord
• Polyamory Questions (from More than Two)
• 9 Questions To Ask On Non-Monogamous Dates by @lavitaloca34
  

2. Communication & Conflict Style

Understand how you and your partners give/receive love and handle conflict.

• 5 Love Languages Quiz
• Gottman: The Four Horsemen
• The REPAIR Process by Hazel Grace Yates
• Nonviolent Communication Feelings and Needs Inventory

3. Conversational Prompts

Deepen your understanding of each other and cultivate closeness.

• Gottman Card Decks app (free)
• 36 Questions for Increasing Closeness
• Where Should We Begin? card game by Esther Perel

4. Attachment & Emotional Bandwidth

Explore attachment patterns and emotional availability.

• Attachment Style Quiz
• Polysecure by Jessica Fern

5. Compatibility Conversation Guide

Talk through the Big 6 areas of poly compatibility.

• Time & Energy – Discuss practical availability and bandwidth.
• Communication – What styles work for each of you?
• Jealousy & Processing – How do you each process hard emotions?
• Sexual/Romantic Needs – Are your expectations aligned?
• Hierarchy & Autonomy – Do you prefer hierarchy, non-hierarchy, or something else?
• Community or Parallel? – Do you want kitchen table or parallel poly?

6. Personality Tests

Understand your personality and how it affects your relationships.

• The Sixteen Personality Factor (16PF)
• Predictive Index (PI)
• Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness (DISC)
• Caliper Profile
• California Psychological Inventory
• Myers Briggs (MBTI)
• Gallup StrengthsFinder

Created with ❤️ for the Colorado Springs Poly/ENM Group. All links open in a new tab. Please feel free to comment or suggest additions.